Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come on in and take your pants off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize