The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
