Pregnant stripper...not hot.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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