is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do herpes really smell.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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