i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
