This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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