i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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