why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
