I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
