Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
