the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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