Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize