i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
