summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
