dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
