Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
