You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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