I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
