Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just pee around me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
