I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
