She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
