I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
