If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
