his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
