Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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