cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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