Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
