Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize