sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
