maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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