bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
