I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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