I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
