your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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