I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
