I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
