First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
Family acid trip.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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