Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
