It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
