i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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