The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
