There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
