Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
