Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
