I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
