I got chris browned last night
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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