Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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