And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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