You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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