she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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