arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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