Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
