you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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