how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
