We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
