About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize