Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
