if i died would you start the facebook group?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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