They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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