I wish my penis had an off switch
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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