Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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