i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
