i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
