I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
